I realized after answering her that there might be other folks out there with similar questions. She’d heard me use the word queer and was curious what the difference was between that and lesbian. I was recently asked this question by a well-meaning and genuinely curious progressive person. “You’re so stunning I just forgot my pick-up line.I mentioned last week that it is pride month and I thought that might be a good enough excuse for a queer 101 post.“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.”.“You must go and see a doctor lady! (Girl – why?) You have ‘BEAUTY’ all over your face!”.“Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”.Say with a careless tone, “Lady, you better direct that beauty somewhere else or you’ll set the bar on fire.”.“Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?”.“I think I am gonna buy a Polar Bear.” (Girl – why?) “I am gonna use it to break the ice between us!”.“Hi there, miss! How about doing some community work by sparing some space for the needy? Let’s move in together!”.“Girl, you are so delightful, cheerful, and bright, you can make Batman rent an apartment and abandon his cave!”.“If you were Christmas, I would be the Grinch who stole you!”.
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Damn you must really be a loser to find a friend in another loser like me.If we’re on a plane that was about to crash and there was just one parachute… I promise to give the best speech at your funeral.We’re best friends because my sense of humor is the same as your… non-existent.That’s why I can’t imagine my life without you, weirdo. You’re crazy, annoying, and you laugh too loud. So happy you’re such a bad influence! Love you more than anyone in the world, buddy. It’s nice to know that I have a company for spending my eternity in Hell.Hold out your hand and say, “Would you be kind enough to hold this while I go out for a walk?”.When a girl stares at you, say, “Wait! Before you cast those dreamy eyes on me, I want to get my maps and GPS ready.“Girl, will you stop getting any hotter? You are killing the poor thermometer!”.“How on earth do you do that?” (Girl – what?) “Look so damn good!”.“Girl, I know what you did last summer.How about we take a walk to remember and make things better!” “What are you doing this evening?” (Girl – nothing) “Let’s do nothing together then!”.“Have you ever been to the moon?” (Girl – no) “Wow, me neither.I’ll give you a kiss and if you don’t like it, you can return it.For some reason, your number isn’t in it.“I’m addicted to ‘Yes’, and I’m allergic to ‘No’.“I sure hope lady, that you know CPR, cos you are taking my breath away!”.And if you too wanna be that funny guy then take a look at this one and find funny things to say to a girl. You must have heard that girls like the funny guys the best. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.Every time I leave a man I keep his house. Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.The first one left me, and the second one didn’t. A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that you can get from your wife for free.If you lend someone money and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.We consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.If you think no one cares if you’re dead or alive miss a couple of credit card payments.
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Whoever said money don’t buy you happiness just didn’t know where to shop!.If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y.When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.Excuse my naivety – I was born at a very early age.